Becoming a parent is one of the most effective roles in the world, but there are no required regulations to abide by. From fishing to getting married, many requirements are needed for certain activities, yet parenting is different – no license is mandatory.
Parenting these days can be daunting as it requires adapting to a complex and ever-changing landscape. Even the most dedicated and caring parents have trouble navigating this new norm.
Parenting a child can be difficult and emotionally draining. The lack of parenting tactics, a bombardment of negative media, and feeling too tired can all contribute to home life becoming strained. Have you ever found yourself in this position before?
Good parenting isn’t always about just attending to the needs of others. There are times when it’s important to prioritize our own needs in order to be effective in our roles as parents.
So what is “Good Parenting”?
Parenting is no easy feat, and as a professional counsellor and play-at-home-mom, I’ve identified 10 surefire tips for successful parenting. Each of these strategies provide your children with the essential elements required for them to take responsibility, be well behaved, and even (if you believe it’s possible) be eager to do household chores! In other words, following these tips will bring out the best version of you and your child.
#1 – If you love your kids put yourself and your basic needs first!
It is critical that we understand the importance of taking care of ourselves before attempting to help another. This saying, echoed by airlines globally, “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping your children” illustrates this point perfectly. Ultimately, one can not properly assist another without first tending to their own safety and well-being.
When the parents are not content, satisfaction simply cannot be found.
Is there anyone who concurs?
To offer the best to your children, start by tending to yourself first. Taking steps to nurture your well-being – be it quality rest, healthy diet, exercise, or moments of solitude – helps you take superior care of your loved ones. Moreover, it sets an example for your little ones to follow.
#2 – If you are married or in a committed relationship—make regular date nights a priority!
We’ve grown familiar with the X and Y generations, yet Generation S (also known as Generation Spoiled) is quickly becoming an influential demographic. This is a trend that’s not to be ignored.
Raising children can be hard, especially when it all falls onto one set of shoulders. When parents dedicate all their energy and time into nurturing their offspring, they may fail to recognize the impact it has on their marriage or partnership. Unfortunately, fewer and fewer couples are able to stay together in the modern era – something that puts a huge strain on everyone involved, most notably the little ones.
For successful parenting, it is critical to keep your relationship with your partner strong; build in time for yourselves as adults.
#3 – Be grateful for your children
We may consider this wisdom to be obvious and common knowledge, yet many of us often fail to take our beloved for granted.
Think of the hundreds of thousands of men and women who would gladly take your spot in the parenting trenches, no matter the battle. For those who yearn to become parents, those who live lonely lives without family or celebrating holidays with kids, and those whose grief still feels fresh even years later—you are truly blessed to have your children. Remembering this can help put things in perspective when parenting feels overwhelming.
Make sure to embrace your kids with a hug too often and keep reminding them of the joy of having you as their parent.
#4 – Teach your kids to fish for themselves
From helping around the home to completing chores and tasks, it can be tempting to take the easier route and do it all ourselves. However, giving our kids a chance to assist teaches them valuable life lessons; raising self-awareness and pride in what they can achieve. Allowing our kids the opportunity to help out is certainly not only beneficial, but is also an act of love from us parents.
Parents often express surprise when I make the suggestion that kids can do chores with a smile on their face. Having won an award for my book ‘When You’re About to Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You’, in which I discussed this very issue, I am confident that making certain adjustments can be beneficial. Surprisingly, encouraging smiles during chores can actually happen in a way that is easier and faster than thought!
#5 – Focus on what you like instead of what you don’t like
With an optimistic outlook on parenting, families can much more quickly work through difficulties that may arise, resulting in fewer heated disputes and drama. This glass-half-full approach can make all the difference.
The lack of a cheery disposition and upbeat demeanor can weigh heavily on your family dynamic, however if you take up the challenge and foster an atmosphere of positivity, you will find many of your troubles start to dissipate. So why not make an effort today and encourage the optimism in your home.
#6 – Give respect before you expect respect from your children in return.
Endeavor to treat your children as you would want yourself to be treated. Abide by the golden rule and take their well-being into consideration when making decisions.
Acting out, such as yelling, hitting, punishing, spitting, arguing, rolling your eyes and picking on your child’s flaws have no room in your home. Pledge that you will show respect towards your child in order to guide them.
#7 – A family that plays and works together stays together!
Achieving social cohesion and bonding through shared activities creates a home environment rooted in joy and well-being. Games, laughter, and cooperative efforts all contribute to an environment that allows familial bliss.
Bond with your kids, and have more fun doing things together; from playing to making dinner, or even tidying up the house as a team. Not only are you able to enjoy quality time with your children, but studies show that children who have regular times of connection with their parents don’t need to resort to dramatic attention-seeking behaviors.
#8 – Pick your fights wisely
Responsible parenting means making the most of opportunities to foster our own personal growth, and develop our children’s potential.
It’s incredibly easy for strong-willed parents to become stuck in their ways. The moment we lose our composure and temper, it’s often difficult to have effective conversations with our kids. This leads to an inability to listen as well as being disrespectful. Replacing old argumentative methods with maintaining focus on the problem (not the disagreement) can often have speedy resolution. If no middle-ground is met (which, let’s face it, is often the case with children), remain firm but be kind, respectful, and understanding of your child’s feelings regardless of the outcome.
While there is no guarantee that parenting is a fool-proof recipe for having children follow instruction, the adage of ‘the serenity prayer’ can prove to be a helpful mantra.
May I find acceptance in the unchangeable components of my life; that I may have strength and peace.
Having the courage to take action on the things I can control, and wisdom to recognize what I can’t is essential.
#9 – Say what you are going to do and lovingly stick to it.
Parents often unintentionally instill the lesson that their words can be ignored, as if their messaging is merely optional. If you frequently reiterate yourself, but don’t deliver on what you’ve declared, your children are likely to disregard your statements and directives.
As parents, we need to provide our children with structure and order while also allowing them to understand the effects of having autonomy. Even though family rules are important and should be respected, there must be some leniency so the kids can learn how to take on some responsibility themselves. An example of this might be that living spaces are expected to be clean before bedtime, however children’s rooms are left up to them – if the mess really bothers you, just close the door!
#10 – Forgive yourself. I repeat, forgive yourself.
If you can, taking the steps to recompense your family and then relinquishing the issue is a vital parenting tool in your arsenal. Being forgiving with yourself will enable you to show greater kindness and tenderness to your children, which will be beneficial in the long run.
Parenting doesn’t need to be a challenge. With these ten tips, you can work towards creating a better and more fulfilling environment for you and your family. Learning these techniques takes time, but it’s well worth the effort to experience the benefits of a functional, harmonious home.
It is essential to practice consistent parenting in order to achieve great results. Common sense is the foundation for good parenting, and, with these 10 tips, you and your family can benefit from a more harmonious and rewarding family life!
For most parents, disciplining and punishing their children are the only tools they know how to use when it comes to modifying their behaviours.
The discipline approaches commonly used today might temporarily bring a halt to mischievous behaviour, however, rarely does it enrich our children with the skills to prevent repeat occurrences. My experience has shown that on the whole, the strategies only teach children to become more devious by telling untruths so they can avoid getting caught.
Kids grow and develop best when their mom and dad are not overworked and exhausted. Far too often, families experience parents on the brink of burnout, making it hard for children to succeed and be content. A balanced lifestyle for parents is crucial to create a supportive home for their children’s overall wellbeing.
#11: Take a stand for your relationship. Make regular dates.
Intimate moments with your spouse, be it a tranquil evening at home or a night on the town, can create the perfect space to foster an enduring marriage. Make time for each other, show your commitment and do it for yourself, your partner, and of course, your children.
If you pay attention to the things that you find pleasant, it will be a source of motivation for your children (as well as your partner!) to maintain those same good habits.
Giving recognition to your kids for good behavior and positive accomplishments is essential. When they don’t get the attention they crave, misbehavior becomes the go-to choice for getting your undivided attention.
#12: Plug into your family, by unplugging the TV, computer and playstation regularly.
Learning how to distinguish between when to draw a line and when to concede is a great way to unleash our potential. Knowing when to stand our ground and when it’s best to offer flexibility is an important step in allowing ourselves to reach our highest potential.
Before taking the plunge, ask yourself if it’s really worth the trouble. What we consider to be everyday issues (our kids’ cluttered bedroom, not so stylish outfit choices) may be unimportant in the grand scheme of things. When we take a step back, often times moments of frustration (messy rooms, eye rolls, forgotten tasks and spills) appear so inconsequential their triviality is worth a chuckle.
In moments of conflict, it is crucial to pause, take a step back and obtain an objective viewpoint. This proves invaluable when making decisions since failing to do this can lead to one finding themselves behaving impulsively and unconscionably, similar to the iconic Cruella Deville!
It’s easy to make a promise you can’t keep. With that in mind, it’s important to be mindful and realistic about your commitments. Following through is essential and it can only really be achieved if you’re able to remain composed and resolute. Yet, it’s just as crucial to ensure that you maintain an attitude of compassion – never letting your temper override your better judgement.
Admitting mistakes can be tough, but shedding the guilt is important for you and your loved ones. Letting go of past errors is the key to a bright and healthy future.